Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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