Whod you bang
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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