More tranny stories later!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
