Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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