Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
