ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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