On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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