Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
