remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
