then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drunk is not a location!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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