Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
