The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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