oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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