Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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