yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
