the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
