if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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