Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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