Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
