Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
