I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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