And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
