my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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