I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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