But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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