I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
