Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
