On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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