That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
