I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
