That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
