Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
