You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
