the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
