I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
