i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
