Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's Friday. Sex?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
