Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
