I just gift wrapped bread.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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