so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
