I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So squirting runs in the family.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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