Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
