it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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