Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
