What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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