Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
