I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
