Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
