I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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