I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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