You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
